Hmm...never tot i'd blog so soon.

Nyway, I jz went on a semi-freedom frenzy, since one assignment was over. 4 days of late nights or shall i say, early mornings.
But, almost as soon as it started, i felt scared. Of what i didn't know, then. I realised tat i actually felt alone. VERY ALONE. I felt tat ppl were leaving me,or abt to. It was more of what i saw of d ppl around me, wat they did, wat they were doing, wat they sed. My screwed up brain concluded tat they were leaving. Although they promised they wudn't. They did promise.

I had a hard time holding back tears when i realised tat. I'm having a hard time holding back tears now, as i write this. Because I also realised tat there's no one who exists, who can promise me tat. It feels like ppl were ripping my heart out each time. They will all leave! They don't have a choice.

N when someone askd me who among d ppl i knw, is my best friend, i answered after a bit of thought...my dad.
d answer shockd them & me.

Tis happens 2 b quite a personal blog, one which i hope no one reads. If u do, i'm sorry u hav a twistd friend, n thank u. Jz 2 say, i think heart ripping pain will happen approx. 3 times, n i will try my best to conceal, as usual.

Can i say tat watever i wrote is absolutely fictional, 4m my twisted brain?        

I know no one reads nymo. i guess i get 2 write more. (but i'll still b vague). Updates:

it's almost been 7 months. Yikes! I hope i miscalculated. Dwindling in most probably a downward spiral, further n further away. mayb some1 will pull me up at d right time. Or mayb i'll do it myself when i'm ready. I like it, it's wrong. I know it's wrong, but I want it anyway. Haih! Next week, may b a new step. Shud i take it or not???                                                                         

Shud be, hopefully, doin my industrial training in kl next month onwards. Tis will test everything else in my life. If they pass it, it will be good.

Other than tat, i could manage my time better 2 accomodate everything i wanna do, n everyone i wanna hang out with. Soon...soon.

Good News: My cousin brought a new life to d world on d 11th of  December. A cute little baby boy! Congratulations. I'll b visiting soon, mayb next week.

 

 

Finally caught up with a friend. We sat at our usual table from school days in Greenlane McD's for 5 hours, crapping away. Missd a crazy character, n now it'll b at least another 3 months b4 we meet again. I'm missing all my friends 4m school, n haven't seen some of them in like 5 years now. Yet, most of them are here in Penang, minutes away.

Besides that, i'm still feeling very selfish n evil. But, i'm having so much fun n i think i'll enjoy it while it still lasts.